List Categories | List All Articles | List Articles By Title
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 16, 2002
Two years ago I made the greatest mistake of my life. I started dating a coworker. She is this beautiful young girl that totally captivated my world when I met her.
As time went by I realized we have almost nothing in common, including music, food, sports, movies, and outdoor activities, to name just a few. Worst of all, there is no passion between us.
Furthermore, I do not feel welcomed at her house, and I don't fit within her circle of friends for two reasons. I'm seven years older and come from South America. Although I learned to speak English, I have difficulties saying what's on my mind, and when I mispronounce a word, I become the clown of the crowd.
When I mention how we aren't meant for each other, she becomes very emotional and begs me not to finish it. You may wonder, what's the big deal, just break it up if it's not working. I don't find that easy. We not only work in the same place, but she sits next to me.
I have the kind of job that comes only once in a lifetime. It would be hard to quit, but it would be hard to break up and see each other unless I quit. She is a wonderful girl, but we aren't meant for each other. It hurts me more than anything when she asks if I love her and I lie through my teeth. What a mess, eh?
Javier, you have nothing in common, there is no spark between you, and her friends belittle you. That is the reality. She wants the relationship to continue. That is unreality. An ancient prayer says "lead me from the unreal to the real." That statement applies to everything, including relationships.
The relationship you two have is not a job relationship. It is a personal relationship. You don't need to give up your job over this, but if you don't act, what happens will come back to haunt you. Accept that there will be some discomfort at work for awhile.
Your letter reminds us of so many others. One man told us he just needed a date to a fraternity party. He inched toward marriage with a woman he didn't love, and they created two children. A woman recounted how she begged her mom, when her suitor called, "Tell him I'm not here!" They married and had four children.
Each marriage ended in divorce. Each divorce was initiated by the person who wanted the marriage. Realize that a person who prolongs a relationship you don't want, will leave the relationship when they no longer want it. That is the path you are on.
Wayne and Tamara
The First Step
If a guy sees or knows a girl he fancies, and if he is a bit shy in asking her out, is there any other way he could do it?
Paul, inaction turns things into monsters when they are not. Vacillation, fantasy and worry immobilize us, but doing a thing resolves a thing.
Each day millions of guys ask girls out. Sometimes the girl says yes, sometimes no. Either way, the world keeps turning. The playing field is more level than you realize. You may be hesitant to ask, but girls often feel stuck, waiting to be asked.
We are never guaranteed the end result. We won't know what will happen until we act. That's life. Part of getting the job is going to the interview. Part of scoring the goal is taking the field. Part of getting the girl is asking the girl.
You could send flowers and a note, but why not be direct? Clean your slate and move forward. You're not asking for a kidney or a pint of blood, just a date. Taking action sets you on the path to success, whether this particular girl says yes or no.
About The Author
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Life Lessons I Learned from My Cat
Even if you are not a cat person, bear with me, as this story goes far beyond cat mania. Our little tabby cat was frightened and highly-sensitive from the day we rescued her from the SPCA, two and a half years ago.
How Healing The Past Empowers Your Future
Everyday I meet people who have a chronic upset that runs their lives, and I notice that they are not even aware of it. Often the pain has become buried in their unconscious; or if they are aware of it, they choose to deny any power to combat it.
A Word Fitly Spoken ~ Acceptance
A WORD FITLY SPOKENA word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Proverbs 25:11I expect to pass through this world but once.
Be a Star in Your Own Life
Do you have the charactertics to be star in their own life? What characteristics below do you have or don't have already? Give each item a rating from 1 to 10 with 10 being you have this charactertics 100%.1.
Dreams Do Come True
Experience has made a lot of folks to consider dreams to be fantasies, unattainable, galaxies away from reality.Some folks believe dreams do come true.
The Emmaus Journal ~ Quietness
The Emmaus Journal QuietnessAs a state of being, quietness is in direct contrast to the World we occupy and the American Lifestyle altogether. The perpetual noise index is at its highest peak within our structured cities that now seem to stretch into endless waves of suburbia.
Borne Upon the Wings of Words
How often do you have opportunities every day to exercise your power of communication--encouraging a coworker, appreciating a spouse, guiding a child?Whenever I visit the Washington, DC area, I usually present a seminar or two at First Class, a Lifelong Learning Center near DuPont Circle. I arrived at the DuPont Circle Metro rail stop about 5:00 p.
Anamcara - Being Forever Enough
When was the last time you felt you were enough just as you are? When was the last time you felt that you were seen as the being you are? When was the last time you felt unconditionally loved and loving?When was the last time you felt life was itself enough? There was nothing to be added. There was nothing to be taken way.
Learn to Deal in Challenges
(Excerpted from the 2004 Jim Rohn Weekend Leadership Event)To really help people in extraordinary ways, learn to deal in challenges. That is what sports is all about, challenges.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 14, 2002I am a woman in her mid-60s whose husband passed away, and I do not want to enter into a relationship with another man. I have no family in town other than my daughter.
7 Strategies To Make Room For Money
Laws of the Attraction notwithstanding, there are several external ways that you can make room for more money in your life.Yes, there are those of you who can manifest whatever you want, whenever you want.
The Power of Gratitude
When my older son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, my first reaction was relief - I finally knew the reason for his behavior. However, I was also overwhelmed with sadness, fear and anger.
Hope in Humanity
Let us renew our hope in humanity. It's so easy to lose faith when someone cuts us off on the highway, when a 'friend' blows us off (for the second time) and fails to show, when we get burned in a business deal, when a co-worker doesn't do what they said they were going to do, or when a colleague fails to keep their promise, etc.
Alone But Not Lonely
In today's fast paced society, we've become accustomed to filling the eeriness of silence with fluff. We turn to many distractions as a means of escaping feelings of idleness or boredom.
Win Your Own Lotto
When people talk about enrichment, they are usually thinking of financial enrichment. (Show me the money!) But, we can enrich many other aspects of our lives too such as: spiritual, mental, physical, and social, as examples.
Comfort and Achievement
I'll share with you one of my deepest insights about achievement comfort and the desire to control even the slightest bump in the great ride we have come to call Life.When someone asks me a question I try to avoid giving them a straight answer because I believe an answer can only complicate things, I find that the best way to help them is to pose a better question.
Shame and Guilt: A World of Difference
Learning to distinguish between two powerful emotions - superficially very similar but in practice, very different - is essential not only for healthy self-esteem but for fulfilling interpersonal relationships.Jill and Sharon (not their real names) worked on the same projects in close proximity to each other in a relatively small office.
The other day I found myself frustrated with the slow progress on my new project. Other people involved, subcontractors, just 'weren't getting it'.
The Art of Giving
In the pursuit of the life we dream of, this journey we are on for successful living, the focus is usually on figuring out what it is exactly that we want and then setting ourselves on course for going and getting it. This is very important: Know what you want to get for your life and then pursue it.
We have all grown up in an age where exploration into dramatic new territory has become routine. We have had people travel into space to live for short periods of time.
home | site map
All articles are copyright to their owners.
Note: this website lists articles, We do not Write Articles !