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Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 13, 2004
I'm in a long-distance relationship that is five months old; of those five months we have spent a total of 15 days together spread over a two month period. As in all relationships it was wonderful in the beginning. We spent long hours on the phone getting to know each other and catching up on what was going on in each other's life.
About two months ago I noticed his calls were not as frequent as they used to be. He says it's because he's busy. I accept this because I know his job is demanding, but somehow I feel it's not too much to ask for a phone call a day. As it stands now, we haven't seen each other in three months, and if I don't call him, I don't think he'll call until a week passes without a word from me.
He says he loves me. I want to believe he knows what love is. I'm willing to do what it takes to make our relationship work, but I feel I'm giving 95% and he is giving 50%. How can I make him open his eyes and see what his blasť attitude toward our relationship is doing to me?
Sydney, in Dean Koontz's novel "Odd Thomas," a couple goes to a county fair. In the back of an arcade tent they find an unusual machine. The top of the machine is glassed in. Inside the glass is a realistic-looking gypsy fortuneteller complete with colorful headscarf.
Another couple stands in front of the glass. They feed a coin into the machine, and the woman asks if she and her boyfriend will have a long and happy marriage. The boyfriend pushes the answer button and a card falls into a brass tray. The card reads: "A cold wind blows, and each night seems to last a thousand years."
Not satisfied with the answer, they drop in another coin, and the woman again asks if they will have a long, happy marriage. This time the card reads: "The fool leaps from the cliff, but the winter lake below is frozen." On the third try they get a card which reads: "The orchard of blighted trees produces poisonous fruit."
Eight times the couple drop in a coin, and each time they receive a similar answer. They bicker and move away. Then the second couple, who clearly love each other, step forward and deposit a coin. A card falls which reads: "You are destined to be together forever."
Sydney, we asked the gypsy fortuneteller your question. A card dropped down. It read: "A cold wind blows, and each night?"
Wayne & Tamara
I work with a girl, and this girl couldn't be more different from other girls I've met. Besides her eyes, her personality is one of the best I've ever seen, and she is gorgeous.
I recently graduated high school. I didn't date because I know how school relationships usually turn out, so I just skipped the drama. I also believe I matured mentally faster than most of my classmates. I am not trying to be cocky, but I am pretty charming and believe I know how to make a relationship work.
You might be thinking, "Why not ask her out?" That's the problem. She is 24 and I am 18. Do you think asking her out is a good idea?
Brandon, you have yet to handle the matador's cape, but you feel ready to enter the bullring. We admire your bravado, but bravado gets many a novice bullfighter gored.
When you avoided high school relationships, you also avoided the experience gained from them. At 24, this woman has a third again your life experience.
If your bravado is sufficient to strut into the ring and face the bull head-on, ask her out. We just hope emergency medical technicians are standing by.
Wayne & Tamara
About The Author
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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