List Categories | List All Articles | List Articles By Title
A Turning Point
19 years ago, I was a young working mother at 28, independent and working for a prestigious company, until circumstances made me choose between family and career. After going through weighing my options, I chose to become a full-time Homemaker because I believed that family should come first if the situation would permit.
However, I had a wake-up call four years ago. It happened on a lazy weekday afternoon when my 10 yr. old daughter arrived from school. As an affectionate habit, I'd kiss and hug her, join her in her room, and help her settle down. It's great hearing how her day has been.
But instead of receiving reciprocal warmth, I got a glowering look plus a creased forehead for a bonus. Although I've been noticing her surly attitude whenever I approached her after school in the past months, such display of rejection sank only during that unsuspecting, lazy, afternoon.
After getting used to doing things together or simply being there for her 24hours a day, a sudden realization that I need to respect certain boundaries did put me off balance. 'Privacy and 'independence' suddenly become the words of the day. She wanted less of the 'intrusive' side of her mom. Her notebooks, slum books, even notepads gradually became confidential.
Gone are the days when she wrote loving notes on mother's day except when it has been required in class, and whispered 'I love you's' for no reason at all. Gone are the days when she wants to be cuddled, to listen to bedtime stories, to sleep through sweet lullabies only I could hum dotingly.
The person in front of me that lazy afternoon was neither an adolescent nor a child. I simply saw a daughter distancing herself from me. And with my son already submerged in his own world, seeing my daughter little by little wanting less of me can really hurt and make me rethink of my role as a Mother and Homemaker, and comparing then and now.
A Change of Direction
I guess with more time in my hand, I've slipped into a limbo, doing things I've been so used to doing but sensing there's no need for them.
With much encouragement from a long time friend and classmate, I was able to pull myself out of that dramatic lull. We did a little brainstorming, assessing some things I can and cannot do at past 40 years of age.
And my love and talent for writing was brought up. The work was the most appropriate and less demanding thing I can indulge in at that moment. The best part was I can work from home, earn a little with less disruptions to the demands of home life, and I learn and grow in the process.
Through this friend's prodding, I started to reconsider the idea and I discovered my fervor to share through writing still burns inside.
I pursued writing although I was apprehensive as I started out late in a competitive field.
Imagining myself as a 'Published Writer' elicited fear, uncertainty, and embarrassment. It is a title or label that can be intimidating and with inherent criteria that may require much to live up to. But I went ahead.
I did not rely on mere talent. I worked on acquiring additional knowledge by investing in books, endless search on the internet, and getting educated through correspondence courses. I practically walked on a self-help journey to reinventing myself.
Answers From Within
After close to five years of writing online and in print, I can say that I made use of that 'wake-up call' wisely without going through much drastic changes.
It is amazing how we could at times come up with a tremendous list of put-downs for ourselves. No wonder some people achieve so less in a lifetime despite being so talented, innately intelligent and with bountiful opportunities right before their eyes.
Sometimes, we need wake-up calls to push us and remind us of latent skills and forgotten passions which become our tools for reinventing our lives.
We all have a significant part of us that get muddled with the chaos of everyday tasks. It is a part of us that lies dormant in the midst of routine responsibilities.
And it is never too late to tap them, to work on them and to revive them.
I've also learned to listen to and recognize messages not readily discernible.
These days, I may be in for another wake up call because it is midlife for me and adolescence for her. There will be more periods of realization and crossroads ahead for both of us. We will have our own crisis to face and ways to understand and tolerate each other.
But before the next wake up call arrives, I am busy being a mom, a wife, and a Writer at the moment, too occupied to take my daughter's intermittent adolescent rejections seriously.
About The Author
Grace V. Planas, Filipino Chinese living in the Philippines, is a Homemaker and part time Freelance Writer. Formerly a Contributing Writer of Working Woman Magazine (Phils), most of her works are currently published online. She writes Poetry, Psychology/Self Help, informative as well as inspirational pieces. Some of her works can be read at TheWriter'sLife, Absolute-DebateDesk, HiddenTalent, The Techmage, Poetrypoem.com, The Ezine Dot Net, LongStoryShort, 1stHolisticLiving.com, Uselessknowledge.com and more.
She holds a degree in Accounting, has completed correspondence courses on Freelance Journalism and Adult Psychology. She has two teenage kids, a boy and a girl, and an extremely supportive husband.
She's been writing since she was in grade school and was a Staffer and later Literary Editor for her School's College paper.
Harnessing the Power of the Unknown: Move from Repeating the Past to Re-inventing the Future
The Unknown - it is scary territory for many, something to be avoided for others and shameful for those who feel they are supposed to know everything. What is your relationship with the Unknown? Take a moment to ponder it because your attitude towards and experience of this is what governs your ability to create, to innovate and truly bring more of yourself out into the world - in short to be successful.
Wisdom Comes to the Inquisitive Mind
Throughout my life I have observed many things and I am often amazed (but shouldn't be) at how Wisdom is demonstrated in all ages. It is not reserved just for the elders.
Persistence will carve you as a leader in your industry. Persistence is where you get mental strength.
Self-Motivation for Trainers
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SELF-MOTIVATION FOR TRAINERS: Lack of self-motivation is an unfortunate side effect of our accelerated times. Many people today are cynical and disillusioned or feel that to appear sophisticated, they must become so.
Are You an Optimist or a Pessimist?
I have been giving some thought lately to optimism and pessimism. Basically, these are attitudes.
Why Do Flowers Inspire Me So Much?
I grew up in a very cold climate where winter seemed go on for 6 months and ice, snow and barren trees is what you saw on a daily basis. Plus the bone chilling cold and cloudy skies all made for a long dreary winter.
The Toughest Decision of All: Get Out or Get Going!
Many of us are influenced by the sports ethic: Never give up! When a basketball team is down by 20 with 30 seconds on the clock, the players never stop working. Spectators might be filing out, and the winning team might be deep into the bench, but the game goes on.
7 Tips For Lasting Motivation And Greater Success
Lasting motivation is possible once you adopt an outlook that allows you to be more successful. Here are seven tips you can use today to overcome procrastination and start achieving much more.
Your Date with Destiny
Destiny. What a powerful word.
What Motivates the Motivator?
Someone wrote me an email a couple of weeks ago and said, "I would love to know what motivates YOU!" So I took them up on it and I want to spend some time telling you how I stay motivated.It is a valid question, this one of what motivates me.
The Secret Motivation Strategy That Never Fails
No matter how much you want to make your dreams come true you still need some practical ways to keep yourself motivated over the long term. You need the ability to keep going in the face of setbacks, disappointments and short-term frustrations.
Boost Your Bottom Line by Asking Powerful Questions
"He who asks questions cannot avoid the answers." -African ProverbPowerful questions yield powerful answers.
How Great is the Strength of Your Belief?
Be careful what you believe because that is what you will experience. Your belief system is a mechanism which is uniquely yours.
The Simple Secret To Lasting Motivation
This is a key to lasting motivation and beating procrastination.If you have friends who are highly driven business people, spend time with them whenever you want a motivational boost.
Anxiety & Panic - Make Your Information Work for You
Whether you suffer from anxiety and panic attacks or not, there is a lesson in here for everyone.Some year's back my husband and I got our selves into a bit of a pickle where money is concerned (probably something quite a few people can relate to).
The Power Of The Brain
THE BRAINThe Brain is the instrument of the mind, the body is the servant of the mind. The Brain is the most complex part of the nervous system.
Commit to Doing 80%
Instead of trying to be perfect, it is better to do your best, and often your best doesn't look like going all out all the time. This is especially true when you are making changes in your life.
JJKs First Six Secrets to Becoming a Successful, Creative Entrepreneur!
Hello Creative Entrepreneurs!As many of you may know I have 24 Secrets to Becoming a Successful Creative Entrepreneur.In this article I am going to share with you my first SIX SECRETS but let's start with the thought for the day:Your determination and desire to succeed and be a winner will take you far, even though sometimes events may be moving a little slower than you wish.
Being Genuinely Curious
Yesterday at the dinner table, my eleven-year-old daughter asked me, "Aren't there times when you absolutely know you're right and the other person is wrong?" She had a disagreement at school that day and believed that her view was the truth. I said, "I used to think I was always right and that other people were wrong.
Life's an Illusion
I'll get right to the point. Life is not necessarily what we think it is.
home | site map
All articles are copyright to their owners.
Note: this website lists articles, We do not Write Articles !