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One Definition of Success
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow up and "be successful." But what "being successful" means depends on our definition of "success" in the first place. Obviously "success" means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Our definition of success has become "The Progressive Realization of Moral, Virtuous, or Godly Goals."
As a parent, how are you defining "success" for your children? How do you define "success" for yourself as a parent?
Each of these questions is important for us to think through. Many of us, kids included, only define success in terms of what we have, or what we have accomplished so far in life. Some define success in terms of how society and culture define it, while others have chosen to define "success" through the eyes of God, as best as they can know it.
As for me, I define "success" as "the progressive realization of moral, virtuous, or Godly goals." As I look at my kids and rate their levels of success, or rate myself as their parent, I want to keep in mind what my kids are becoming, rather than what they have accomplished in the past. As long as I can see my kids on a path toward becoming productive and honorable adults, then I will feel successful as a parent.
I want to encourage each of you to take a long term view in regards to your role as parents. I have received many emails from parents of 4, 5, and 6 year old kids who are having trouble with attention span, or coloring within the lines, or reading, or whatever. Please relax.
Focus on getting your child onto a road that will lead them to be productive as adults. Teach your children how to be good fathers and mothers to their own children in the future. Teach your kids how to love and serve other people. These are the major lessons. See life in the context of eternity, and your definition of success will change radically, both for your children and yourself.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
Getting Through to Your Teenager
Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that you've made yourself) after you've warned them at least a thousand times? Is there anything more frustrating as a parent?Well, this is somewhat typical in most "normal" households across America. We (parents) screw up, tell our children about it, and what do they do? They go out and repeat the same mistake.
Trip, Trip, Trip... Here Is Your Night Visitor Again!
Night Visits From Your ChildIn the middle of the night you hear, trip, trip, trip and your bedroom door opens. It's not hard to imagine who it is and when you feel your little one climbing into your bed, you are sure.
Ten Terrific Ideas for Rainy Day Fun
It's been raining for a week and the kids and bored and restless. How do you cure those rainy day blahs? Try some of these parent tested and kid approved ideas and your children will be hoping for another rainy day when the sun finally peaks through.
Pay Attention! Its Your Most Important Job
Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or interviews to pass. Children can become parents, mentally disabled people - it's even possible to become a parent while in a coma!When my mother, who is a truly great parent still, became a mom the first time, she was 19 and had very little experience with children.
Relate With Your Teen And Gain Their Trust
We were all teens at one time for some many years ago even if we don't like to admit it. Many of us can look back and say our teen years were good, but with many ups and downs as we approached adulthood.
Parents Dealing with Worry and Fear
Dear Vijay,I worry about not being a good parent. My daughter Tracy is six and my son Michael is four.
The Laid Back Parents Guide to Teaching Your Child to Read
At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy Parent's Guide" but then I realized that most parents aren't lazy, but they may have a slightly different philosophy about children and learning.If you're a big reader yourself or if you're homeschooling, you're probably concerned about how to teach your child to read.
Should We Apologize To Our Children?
An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes we may believe that if we apologize to our children we weaken ourselves and the rules we are trying to keep.
Top Ten Ways to Teach Values to Your Kids
In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values you don't approve of, how can you teach values to your kids? Here are ten ideas to help you:1. Tell them your life stories and teach through your storiesKids love to hear stories about your childhood.
How Effective Are Ritalin and Dexedrine in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant medication, such as Ritalin and Dexedrine in their various forms, in treating the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders in children, teens, and adults. Even though stimulants are not the only effective option in the treatment of the disorder, stimulants may be a good choice, and their use should be discussed with your physician.
Teach Your Children - Without Them Knowing They Are Learning!
The great thing about children is they absorb knowledge like a sponge. The downside to this is that they are typically wise to the fact that they don't want to sit down and be taught, fortunately as parents we can think of ways around that! Here are some great ideas of ways to promote learning with your children.
Parents - Create An Emotionally Healthy Connection With Your Child
"I could have helped you if I would have known, I'm your mother. I protect you against everybody in this world.
Raising Strong Daughters
When my daughter was born, I must admit there was a distinctly different feeling to it. Part of me was thrilled, but part of me was unsure of how to deal with a gender I still couldn't quite understand.
Your Company Vehicle is a Portable Bill Board; A word of advice on children passengers
Child Safety Restraints and children in work vehiclesIf you take your child in your work car, van, SUV or work truck, you should determine the type of safety seat that's appropriate to your child's age or weight and will allow you full control of the vehicle including use of the stick shift.If your child is newborn to nine months or twenty pounds, use an infant safety seat.
Taking Home Souvenirs, Not Junk
Gift shops are a kid magnet and often a trip highlight! Do you cringe at the sight inexpensive trinkets and novelty items that will be lost or broken in the span of hours? Plan your souvenir strategy early and help your child assemble a collection that is unique and will last for years to come, preserving the memories of your travels together. First, come up with a theme.
Are Public Schools A Menace To Your Kids? -- 11 Danger Signals
Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school, or are bored or frustrated with their classes or teachers? In contrast to what most public-school officials will tell you, in most cases the problem lies with the schools, not with your children.It turns out that millions of children, including yours, have good reasons to hate public school, reasons that you as a parent should not ignore.
Second Letter to My Daughter
Dear Camille,As I thumb through the photographs that I carry with me always in my briefcase, it's hard to fathom that the short haired, smiling baby holding a crawfish and wiggling its claws has turned into the beautiful goldilocks girl that demands the stage and wants so much to sing.I feel like such a cliché-all those veteran parents telling us how quickly you would grow up, how it would be over before we know it, how we had best pay attention before it all ended.
Back to School Feng Shui
Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the malls in search of the perfect sneaker or the cool new outfit for the coming school year. However, it's unlikely that the new shoe or shirt will benefit them as much as a new design in the bedroom.
Top 5 Characteristics of Good Leadership to Instill in Our Home School Children
I am sure that this list can be jogged and added and taken away or all of the above, after being in the presence of several true leaders these are the ones that stuck out in my mind. Our home schooled children can be given a greater chance to make a diference in the world if the are leaders in mind, instead of following others blindly.
How to Stop Divorce Parental Conflict from Bursting?
It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after divorce the culprit of most psychological-adjustment problems the children are having. So, how to stop the post-divorce parental conflict from bursting must be given a premium importance by parents who want to have a healthy, happy and successful divorced children.
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