List Categories | List All Articles | List Articles By Title
How to Help Your Children to Blossom
I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western North Carolina in the southeastern region of the United States.
It is gorgeous here in April, with trees covered in white or pink blossoms, masses of yellow forsythia in bloom and flowers of many colors bursting forth in gardens and along the roadsides.
It takes my breath away.
As I allow myself to soak up the beauty all around me, I think about the experience of being a parent. I can't help it.
Here are some of the messages Spring is whispering to me this year:
1. Allow everything to happen in its own time.
I remember how, in January, we were longing for Spring to come. Looking at the bare trees, I could imagine the blossoms of April and silently urged Spring to hurry.
But the time was not right.
It's like raising children. There is an inner rhythm, a natural unfolding that cannot be hurried. We can't force the blossoming.
My grand-daughter just took her first steps. She is 13 months old.
For the last few months, she has been standing and walking around the furniture. The adults in her life have been encouraging her to take those un-supported steps.
She was not ready.
Some things cannot be hurried.
In fact, when we hurry our children, it often slows them down. They become anxious and unsure of themselves, and disconnect from their own inner wisdom.
Is there something that you want your child to do or to become that seems to be taking a long time?
Are you impatient?
This may be the time for you to allow the natural process to unfold in its own time.
Trust the knowing within your child. The same inner guidance that we all have within us is within our children as well.
Allow them to bloom in their own way, in their own time.
2. Appreciate each day for the gifts it brings.
The magnificent beauty of Spring is so fleeting.
Last week, I was enjoying the delicate pink flowers of our weeping cherry tree, branches bending gently toward the earth.
I wanted to stop time and hold on to the beauty of it all, but I knew I couldn't.
So I took the time to sit and watch the branches dancing gently in the wind. I soaked in as much of the beauty as I could and felt an overwhelming gratitude to be a part of that magic moment.
Now the blossoms have been replaced by tiny green leaves. The moment of magnificence has passed. Too quickly.
Today I have a choice. I can regret the loss of the blossoms. Or I can appreciate the beauty that is before me now. Flowers gave way to leaves, but the tree is still beautiful.
When my children were teenagers, our relationships went through phases.
Some times were magnificent, like a tree in full bloom. We just seemed to click, and my heart overflowed with love and gratitude.
Other days, we had difficult issues to work through, or they seemed withdrawn. I felt very disconnected from them.
It was easy to remember the way they were before, and that left me with a feeling of loss.
I had a choice. I could regret what I had in the moment - or I could find a way to shift my own emotional energy.
I did that by looking for things to appreciate. It worked every time. It took me from disappointment to gratitude.
In what ways do your children blossom?
Do you take the time to be with them and share those moments with them?
What happens when the moment has passed? Can you appreciate your children even on ordinary days, when nothing special is bursting forth - or even when they are out of sorts and taking it out on you?
Can you look past all of that?
Can you see the beauty that is before you today?
Look at your children. Look until you see something that you appreciate.
Take a few minutes to feel your gratitude for the gift that they bring to your life right now. No comparisons with other children. No longing for a different time when things seemed better between you.
Just appreciate the child who is before you today.
3. Plant the seeds and tend the garden:
All around us, tulips and daffodils are springing up in a bright profusion of color.
Some yards are like vibrant paintings. Other yards are like blank canvases. Nothing is blooming.
What does that tell me?
If we want our children to blossom, we need to learn the lessons of the garden.
Flowers do not appear magically. Someone planted the seeds or the bulbs, and the sun and rain work together to draw the plants out of their winter hibernation.
So it is with our children.
What words do you say to your children? How do act when you are with them? These are the seeds that you plant.
What is the emotional atmosphere like in your home? This is the soil in which the seeds will either grow or whither.
Is it warm and life-affirming?
Is it inviting and welcoming, so your children feel, not only safe, but encouraged to express themselves?
If so, then they will blossom before your eyes.
Pat and Larry Downing have many years of experience counseling teenagers and their parents, conducting family mediations and leading workshops and support groups. They are co-authors of the e-Book, "Feel Good Parenting: How to Use the Power of Your Heart to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Child."
For more information on how to create relationships that are peaceful, harmonious, cooperative and joyful, you may go to go to http://www.feelgoodparenting.com/ to sign up for a free e-Course and a free e-zine for parents.
Copyright © 2005 by Patricia Downing
PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on websites, provided you include ALL the above information about the authors, as it appears, including copyright information and live website link.
Theres Never a Bad Time To Start Helping To Spread The Word of God
Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible quiz to my child?A.
Twelve Tips To Connect With Teachers At Conference Time
It's that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you nervous? Excited? Confused? It takes teamwork to raise kids.
When Your Chicks Leave the Nest
When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he moved into a flat with two of his mates. They were boys we'd known throughout his high school years and the flat was only ten minutes from home, but I cried for two weeks!It just seemed to me that a major part of my life was over.
Should The Dad-To-Be Attend The Birth?
Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and down outside the labor room and would be admitted only after the birth. Modern practice is to assume the dad-to-be should be at the birth to offer support.
On Raising a Child with Disabilities: Sara & the Nail Salon
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles, giggles, raised eyebrows and kisses.
6 Signs You're A High Maintenance Parent
The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering college in increasing numbers. Getting into the best schools is increasingly competitive.
Top 25 Children Quotations
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
Vision: 20/20 Is Not Enough!
Now is an excellent time to have your child's vision checked. Don't be too quick to say, "My child's vision is fine: 20/20!" In many cases that is not enough.
Building Teen Character: Part-Time Employment
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's life. They are not children anymore, but they are also not adults.
How Many Sex Offenders Live On Your Block?
For any parent, learning that a convicted sex offender lives on the same block, can be a chilling discovery. The thought of it alone, can be disturbing.
Eye-Opening Questions for Working Parents to Ask
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted cookie while I was carrying him out of the bakery. I asked him, "Can you give mommy a bite?" He leaned over and gently bit me on the cheek.
Ease Bug Bites with Easy Herbs
Summertime means insect bites and stings. Ouch! Take a leaf from Susun S.
How A Home Water Filter Can Reduce Your Child's Risk Of Learning Disabilities
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person can be exposed to in his lifetime. Besides damage from radioactive or nuclear chemicals, significant exposure to lead can cause some of the most severe and even fatal health effects possible.
Lead with Love:How Mothers Can Use Their Greatest Strength to Manage Around Their Technical Weakness
My wife and I have been working on a video scrapbook for our son now for about a year. The project originally started out as a movie of all of our video clips but it was immediately apparent that this scope was far too great.
Educational Toys - How Do Parents Choose The Best Toys For Their Child
The choices are mind numbing. Walk into any toy store or the toy section of any department store and there are shelves and tiers of toys labeled 'educational toys'.
Coping With Colic
Quite simply, an absolute nightmare for parents and babies alike, colic is likely to be the first major test of your parenting skills. It is dreadful for all concerned but these tips should help you cope with this difficult time.
Keeping Kids Safe on the Internet
The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days is to pretend to be a kid, in a kid site chat room.Child predators are talking the lingo, misspelling words, having simple conversations to gain trust with children on the internet.
Child Communication Skill: Do You Really Know What Your Child Is Saying To You?
Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old boy is bawling his eyes out. Hurriedly, you run over, and ask "What's wrong?".
The ADD Child: Challenging Parents, Teachers and Friends
The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are common in most children. Most children misbehave, act silly and day dream.
Summer Marks the Time to Remember Active Supervision Around Family Swimming Pools
LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend, and summer fast approaching, EMS, first responders, and water safety advocates, are bracing for the unthinkable - the unfortunate drowning accidents in backyard swimming pools that annually claim the lives of nearly 500 children under the age of five, and an estimated 2,800 "near-drowning" incidents.1The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reports, for every child who drowns, six more children are involved in "near-drowning" incidents - accidents that can lead to permanent neurological damage, life-long disabilities, and leaving the parents with catastrophic medical costs and years of recovery and therapy.
home | site map
All articles are copyright to their owners.
Note: this website lists articles, We do not Write Articles !