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Top Ten Common Sense Rules for Fathers
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques out there. Many of them are widely used and treated as the gospel. But if you want to be an effective father, you can skip most of them and concentrate on common sense rules that have always worked. They won't always make you the most popular Dad, but they'll always be effective:
Rule #1 Expect a Great Deal From Your Kids
If your kids know that you expect a lot from them, they'll rise to the occasion. Everything from saying please and thank-you, to efforts in school or on the athletic field. If expectations are made clear in a loving atmosphere, your kids will know you think a lot of them. And when they know this, they'll respond.
Rule #2 Always Be Willing To Be Part of the Problem
When you're convinced that someone in your family is causing the problems and you're blaming them for it, you better realize that this problem won't get better until you accept that you're making it worse by blaming. It may feel good to blame, but it never improves anything. Only love and acceptance will make a positive difference.
Rule #3 Know Your Child's Life Intimately
It's sad to see how many fathers know the stock market more intimately than their own child. Get to know all you can about your kids. Know what their favorite toys and colors are, who their best friends are, who their heroes are, etc. By showing interest, you're showing you love them. By not asking, you show that they're not that important to you.
Rule #4 Say "No" to Your Kids
There's an awful lot of stuff out there for kids these days...and of course they want to have it all. Kids who get almost everything they want typically aren't very happy kids. Kids learn discipline, self-control, and how to delay gratification when they're told no by their parents. It may be a difficult struggle, but saying no and meaning it will help you to have happy, healthy, and cooperative kids.
Rule #5 Hitting or Spanking Your Kids Doesn't Work
There are plenty of studies showing that kids who are spanked have lower self-esteem. Spanking your kids will also be likely to increase the very kinds of behaviors that you're spanking them for. As a father, do you really want your child to be afraid of you?
Rule #6 Treat Your Partner Extremely Well
This is where your kids get their most important information about relationships between their parents. Make a great effort not to fight in front of the kids. Remember to be kind more often than trying to be right.
Rule #7 Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Many parents spend time threatening their children when their kids aren't cooperating. But if you don't follow through on the consequences, you can threaten till the cows come home. Your children will learn to ignore the threats. They will understand action. If certain privileges are taken away because of their lack of cooperation, they'll learn very quickly that you mean business. Try your best to align the consequences with the action. ( "If you don't clean your room in time, you won't have time for stories before bed.")
Rule #8 Really Listen to Your Kids
Don't just hear their words, but learn to understand the meaning behind what they say as well. "I'm picking my own clothes!" might mean that your child wants more responsibility or independence. Be able to reflect back what your child says to you. If you want your child to listen to you, you absolutely must listen to her/him.
Rule #9 Give Your Kids Responsibility as They Grow Older
When your kids are very young, perhaps they just help make their beds in the morning and keep their rooms clean. As they get older, add things to their list. Tell them that this is how a family works?everybody has certain things that they do. If you do it when they're young, it's more likely they'll do it when they're older. Don't reward them for things that should be expected of them.
Rule #10 Tell Your Kids They're Great All the Time
It's especially important to tell them this when they're not at their best. It's easy to tell them when things are going well! Make it a point to tell them specifically what you think is great about them. This will be more meaningful than generalized praise.
Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com. or email him at email@example.com.
Identifying Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in the Classroom: Eight Things Teachers Should
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is the phrase that is used to describe children who have significant problems with high levels of distractibility or inattention, impulsiveness, and often with excessive motor activity levels. There may be deficits in attention and impulse control without hyperactivity being present.
Picky Eater Syndrome
'Picky Eater' is a label coined to describe the phenomenon that someone has discerning taste preferences different from their parents or others. These discerning taste preferences are dictated by their blood and body type.
Non-Compliance in Your Children, Some Tips for Parents
Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child not obeying you when you have asked him or her to do something. It is helpful because it is descriptive, and because it may also motivate us as parents to move our kids from being non-compliant to being compliant.
Parenting - The Irrational Vocation
There are some grounds to assume that a cognitive dissonance is involved in feeling that children are more a satisfaction than a nuisance. Why do people bother with parenting? It is time consuming, exhausting, strains otherwise pleasurable and tranquil relationships to their limits.
Teenagers and Stress: What Parents Can Do to Help
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how to support their teenagers who are complaining about the stress in their lives.What parents may not realize, is that what they do every day by providing healthy food, support, and a comforting home, provides the very stress-antidotes their teens need.
5 Tips for Improving Communication With Your Teenager
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the communication with their teenagers. Here are 5 ideas that are all within your control.
Empty Nest Syndrome
Paula's last child had just gone off to college and Paula was struggling with a deep inner emptiness. While she knew this day was coming, she was not really prepared for the intense hollowness that welled up within.
Fuzzy Names, Sweet Names
As with everything, names go through cycles of change with passing generations. I also tend to think that names have improved immensely since the first Elmas, Minervas, Bufords, and Alfreds graced the baby's room wearing appropriate nametags on their cribs.
Picky Eaters - Successful Strategies Part 1
What is in a name?The answer is everything!Jo J. of Victoria, Texas said that her son was a very picky eater between the ages of four and six and refused to eat many of the dishes she made, until she discovered the art of renaming recipes.
I WONT DO IT! Tips for Working with the Oppositional Child
"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or teacher, we have all "been there" and "done that" with a child exhibiting refusal behaviors. Before "losing your cool" and your power as well, interventions and strategies are provided for use to help deescalate this classic power struggle.
Your Job as a Role Model
A certain educator was once asked at what point should a parent begin to prepare for child raising."How old are you?" the educator inquired.
Meningitis and Septicaemia
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain and spinal cord. It is caused by either a virus or bacteria.
Intro to Medications for ADD ADHD
The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder are stimulant medications. Anti-depressant medications, and even anti-convulsant medications, are sometimes used as well, though this is less common.
Co-Morbidity Rates: Other Problems That May Come With ADHD
Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge. Very often the child or teen that comes to the office will have both a neurologically based Attention Deficit Disorder, as well as some other clinical condition that requires treatment.
Guide to Choosing LEGO Toys for Children
If you're looking for toys that are both fun to play with and educational for your child, LEGO toys are a very good option.LEGO toys are known worldwide as one of the best educational toys for children of all age groups.
When you think about it, probably the one thing that our children need most in order to grow up feeling loved, happy, and empowered enough to give of themselves to others is our commitment to them as parents. Our children must know that we have made a commitment to them and we must demonstrate that commitment constantly.
Planning the Ultimate Kid Birthday Party
Child Party Planning Guideline #1)Pick the ThemeYour child is going to look forward to their birthday months before it arrives. Starting from their last birthday and after every friend's birthday they attend through the year, they will continuously ask the same question, "Is it my birthday tomorrow?" Let them know how important their birthday is and make sure they are apart of the planning process.
10 Tips for Making Daily Physical Activity Part of Your Childs Life!
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty percent of children ages 5 to 8 show at least one heart disease risk factor, including hypertension and obesity, which among children has doubled over the past two decades.? The first signs of arteriosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) are appearing at age 5 - something never before seen in anyone under the age of 30.
Goal Setting for Kids
Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However, teaching kids how to set and achieve goals is not part of most school curriculums, nor is it taught in most homes.
Picky Eater - Fighting the Good Fight
Often, the struggle at dinnertime with your picky eater is not so much about food as it is about control. As children become more independent, conflicts can arise as they carefully scrutinize what goes into their mouths.
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