List Categories | List All Articles | List Articles By Title
Telling the Hard Truth
Watching television's "sitcom's", I can't help but notice that most of the plots revolve around the same theme - someone being afraid to tell someone else the truth. We saw it in the years that Ross loved Rachel, that Niles loved Daphne, or that George hated Susan. We saw it in virtually every episode of Three's Company.
Why do we keep the truth from people? Usually it's for one of the following reasons (or a combination): we don't want to hurt someone's feelings, we're afraid the other person will be angry with us or we don't want to be embarrassed.
What are the main consequences of not speaking up and telling the hard truth? It keeps us stuck in unfulfilling situations - like jobs, relationships and other life circumstances. Here are some others:
~ Someone thinks you understand something you don't
~ Someone thinks you've agreed with something you haven't
~ Someone thinks you're going to do something and you're not
~ Someone thinks you did something and you didn't
~ Someone doesn't know you love them and you do
~ Someone thinks you love them and you don't
~ Someone doesn't know what you're capable of
~ Someone thinks you're capable of something you're not
How do you know when it's time to tell the hard truth? From that first nagging feeling in your stomach that something about the situation is not right. Because there's no bad time to tell the hard truth.
5 ways that telling the hard truth is good for your self-care:
1. You deepen your relationships. Social support is a very important element of self-care. When you assume someone can handle hearing the hard truth, they usually rise to your expectations. When you learn to tell the hard truth in a relationship you can be yourself in that relationship.
2. You lose the stress. Hiding the truth and/or living a lie is very stressful! Telling the hard truth is the antidote.
3. You feel better about yourself. When you've done something courageous like telling someone the hard truth, you're sending yourself the message that maybe you can do OTHER hard things.
4. You create evidence that your own thoughts make you suffer - look at an experience where you told the hard truth and notice that it was the anticipation of telling that created your worry and stress. Things that hadn't happened and may never happen, things you were creating in your own mind. And the reality rarely lives up to our feared expectations.
5. You can learn from the hard truth. Has someone told you a hard truth? Use it as a way of deepening your relationship or to improve something about the situation or yourself. Thank the person and recognize their courage for telling the hard truth.
Who do you need to tell a hard truth? What hard truths have you been avoiding telling yourself?
(c) Copyright 2005, Genuine Coaching Services.
Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach, is the author of "The Everyday Self-Care Workbook". To receive one of her free monthly newsletters, subscribe at http://www.genuinecoaching.com/newsletter.html
True Friendships - How to Get True Friends and Friendships
True Friendship - RecognitionHow can we find true friendships in this fast and selfish world? This world is not a permanent world and our life in this temporary world is very short like a thin string tied between two edges. In this time how can we find friends and friendships which are true and trustable.
The Thoughts that Occupy the Minds of Most Men
Please note that this is not an attempt to give you a comprehensive list of the thoughts of all men, but rather my attempt to lead you into the crevice of the minds of most men. There are certainly men that do not think of most of the things here - those yet to be born.
The Wrong Kind of Love
A lot of people have the wrong kind of love and don't even know it. If you are experiencing any of the following issues I have listed in this article, then you definitely have that wrong kind of love.
The notion that there can be a technology of relationships basically contradicts what we all know aboout relationships. There are entire bookshelves about relationships.
10 Things Never to Say to A Guy
1. WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN? You'll see him when you see him.
How To Seduce A Woman The Right Way
Gentlemen, if you really want to seduce a woman the right way, you have to make everything revolve around her. Everything!The seduction starts long before you get into bed together.
Energize Your Relationship By Celebrating Hoodie-Hoo Day February 20th
What is Hoodie-Hoo Day and what does it have to do with your relationship? The answers may surprise you.Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day is a holiday (copyrighted by Wellcat.
AS I STARED at the sunset, I marveled at its beauty. The scenario got me thinking about an issue a friend had brought up sometime ago.
Girl Talk - Boy Talk
Chas and Dave wrote a song about it and how right they were. Women just love to rabbit! Whether you calling it chatting, nattering, gassing or just plain talking, we're way ahead of the opposition in the vocal stakes.
10 Reasons Why Married Couples Grow Apart (Part I)
When asked why their marriage is on the rocks, many couples often state that they have just grown apart. The reality of that statement just means the individuals no longer relate to or appreciate each other as they once did.
Cheating Husband/Wife: 6 Keys to Know if You are Ready to Handle What You Might Find When You Spy
When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse, please make sure you consider all the possibilities you might encounter and whether you can handle them.Have you considered the many situations that spying might uncover? Can you imagine the worst thing you might find? Predict what your response will be to the worst-case scenario.
Should I Leave This Relationship?
How do you know when it's time to say goodbye to a relationship? In any intimate relationship-especially in a marriage-it's not a good idea to let a doomed partnership drag on, simply to avoid the pain of a breakup.Signs of TroubleThere are some warning signs that your relationship is in trouble.
Relationship Advice - How to Get Out and Stay Out of Relationships Ruts
"The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions."Q: My wife and I are both on our second marriage.
How to Get a Woman to Treat You the Way You Deserve
You know the scenario. You start dating a woman.
Relationship Advice - How to Improve Intimacy
A relationship requires intimacy. I don't think anyone would argue with that.
Support for Non-ADD Spouses and Partners
Living with adult ADD can be quite a challenge. Not only is it a challenge for the actual person who has ADD but for those around him or her.
Slaying The Green Eyed Monster
He hasn't called in hours. You call and get the roommate: "Oh, sorry .
How To (Wo)man Your Boundaries
The first time I ever heard "boundaries" mentioned, it was by my then husband. He informed me that I had to protect and hold his boundaries.
And They Didnt Even Know I was Looking: Lessons on Love from My Parents
I came from good people. I didn't always know that.
Honesty Accepted - Deception Denied
We've all done it at one time or another, or will do it sometime in the future. Regardless of when you do it, just remember you will get caught eventually and when you do, you cannot bury your head in the sand.
home | site map
All articles are copyright to their owners.
Note: this website lists articles, We do not Write Articles !